The Underwater Tit

Summary: Harry Balsagna ignores the rules and posts underwater nudity on thedanzatap; straw that broke the camel's back.
Stakes: The stakes is Harry's status TheDanzaTap... If jurors see it fit, full reinstatement. Otherwise he remains in box at admin's discretion.

— "Stakes" are what the loser of the case owes the winner (e.g. "Dinner and a movie," "two kicks to the groin," etc.).

Plaintiff
Files
Case
Defendant
Appears
In Court
Plaintiff
Enters
Arguments
Defendant
Enters
Arguments
The Jury
Votes
The Verdict
Is Delivered
Username: admintdt
Age: 64
City: new york
Sex: male
Status: Citizen
an Instant Jury virgin
Username: HarryBalsagna
Age: 27
City: Albany
Sex: male
Status: Citizen
an Instant Jury virgin
Voting Results:
admintdt (59.1%)
HarryBalsagna (40.9%)

Tell Your Friends About this Case!

Plaintiff Arguments [Jul 1, 2009]

Harry knew the rules: no posting nudity.  He's been told the rules, almost all of them, many times, and routinely ignores them.  This is counterproductive and risky to the website.

In TDT's post "Chart a course of adventure" he thought it was a good idea to post a pic of some faggot in a pool sucking an underaged titty.  Clear nudity in plain view.

Not that he cared, but when other commenters reminded him that she was about 12 he wrote: "Got if off of google but you guys got me running scared. Although I think she’s 18 plus I’m not taking anu risks. Take it down big fella"

No, Mr. Balsagna, you took anu risks...anu risks that have come back to bite you in the anu.  

EVIDENCE 1 - a stupid picture of nothing in particular, which is a typical Harry Balsagna move in comments.  

EVIDENCE 2 - Because of continued infractions, I sent Harry to Internet camp... here's his portrait.

 

Exhibit A:
[Size: 44220] [Created: Jul 1, 2009]
Exhibit B:
[Size: 28291] [Created: Jul 1, 2009]
Defendant Arguments [Jul 1, 2009]

A female nipple. I am being persecuted for showing a female nipple. The Danza Tap is one of the internet's most raunchy and sexist blogs and the administrator of it banned me from the site and brought me to trial for showing a female nipple. He claims the woman in the photo (I dont know her, I dont own the photo, it came from google) is under age. This is purely based on opinion. He mocks me for a grammatical error I made. A true display of lack of argument and immaturity. Lets get back to the female nipple. Upon scrolling through a major daily European newspaper I saw 4 of them in two seperate advertisements. Beautiful female nipples. I assure you no reader of the blog was offended by them. Now I turn your attention to the first piece of evidence that is the photo in question doctored. There are two cartoon heads covering the nipples, if this were the photo I posted we would not be here today, we would not be tying up the courts. But since my photo showed the female nipple we are here in court, costing our employers money, wasting our time at work arguing over a female nipple. Are we not adults? Do we not all have nipples? Did we not once nurse from a nipple? Why must we shun from human body parts as if they were the devil himself? Ladies and gentlement of the jury you are presented with a tremendous opportunity, the opportunity to decriminalize the female nipple, the opportunity to peel back years of eroded thinking, to restore the humanity that we have lost.

Thank You,

Harold Balsagna

 

Exhibit C:
[Size: 135197] [Created: Jul 1, 2009]
Exhibit D:
[Size: 126071] [Created: Jul 1, 2009]
Jurors:

CJet

The...

mingo

Wookie

ChuckC

Mr. Yuck

windi...

hotchick

sirro...

Spoiler

Stash

LiliM

Xdigitz

Annex...

caulf...

McNasty

mogarber

two c's

niggy...

flyon...

Belle

Rudy

Ricky...

billd...

sexyT

EvilP...

kamel

summe...

tbd

blueg...

mbarnes

yalej

BB

pawsox

askme

Jimmy...

super...

wrenc...

Bammer

Message Board

Wookie wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
Make it good Balsagna!
hotchick wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
Wanna see my man sized mannicotti?
sirrob1000 wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
On the Jury--
Let's do this 12 Angry Men style. Sure--admin makes the rules--its his site. But to ban boobs? A close one for sure.
Stash wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
admin can be somewhat of a dictator.
HarryBalsagna wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
Plaintiff
I am ready to state my case and given the nature of this jury pool I am confident of my victory.
Rudy wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
Remember, we need to see ALL the evidence to make an informed decision.
HarryBalsagna wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
I request that the photo in question be made available to the court
crystal wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
You each have the opportunity to post a pic in your arguments
So make sure you post it! Where is the admin with his argument. I can't wait for this case!
Anonymous wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
Default judgment for Harry
Admin loses by virtue of failure to prosecute!
The Judge wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
The Judge's Message
The plaintiff has informed me that he is preparing his statement for the public. His argument against Harry Balsagna will be presented shortly. If you are on the jury, you will receive an email when his argument has been made public. You will not receive spam. - The Judge
Anonymous wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
We need a photo for the opening please!
It's a must
sexyT wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
What crass pic is this going to be of?
This girl whoever she is will undoubtedly look like a slut
Anonymous wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
This guy is from Albany? Guilty
Anonymous wrote:[Jun 30, 2009]
hahahahah
He's a River Rat!
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Admin's a tease. Forgive the H20 tit and get on with life
Admin, Give it up. Lay off the Balsagna.
HarryBalsagna wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
I can only surmise by the length of time that has expired since I answered my summons that my accuser is preparing a lengthy and thorough argument backed up by what he beliefs to be sufficient evidence that will inevitably render me unable to win the hearts and minds of the jury. However, I will not only be prepared to counter any argument, any evidence, any charge, but I will be presenting a plethora of my own evidence that will turn the tables on the Admin from accuser to accused. I will not simply argue my right to post a picture with a bare aureola on the internet I will challenge the modern American sentiment on sexuality.
Belle wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Suspense
The suspense of this case is palpable. I mean I haven't anticipated a trial like this since the days of OJ!
HarryBalsagna wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
"The defense requests that the plaintiffs argument be made." - Harold Beaver, legal counsel to Harry Balsagna
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Time running out
Where is Admin's argument? Harry Bals has arrived in court and is ready to go....
mbarnes wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Putting Extra Work on The Admin
By posting and asking to unpost you are putting extra work on the admin, he has a bunch of other stuff to do besides babysit your ass
mbarnes wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Can we see the pic of the underwater tit?
Balsack post that pic!
BB wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
PICS
I seem to miss the pic of said nudity.... can admin post the real pic that Harry was intending on posting?
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
case law
I think precedent had been set in the case of so cal menace vs. employer. While it is a mere nipple, if search engines consider it porn, the site is blocked by many corporate firewalls, thereby receiving less traffic. As much as I appreciate Harry's work, i have to rule for Admin.
mbarnes wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
I have to say
I wasn't in Bologna's corner but his argument was well written, and he pulled on the nipple strings and I respect him for it
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Hmmmmm.....
I saw the original pic, and I don't think the pic was that offensive. Hell, I've seen a lot worse. BUT.... rules are rules, and HB has broken them time & time again, even with AdMIN's admonishment, and he continues to flaunt the rules. Sorry, HB. Oh, this is Elaine.
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
The site is also losing readers b/c of Harry B. His pics do not relate to the posts at all, and they are completely oversized slowing everything down. Also makes it very frustrating to try to visit the site from a phone. Harry's pics are funny...but perhaps he should consider partnering w/ admin if he wants his work seen so badly. Judgment for Plaintiff.
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
The site is also losing readers b/c of Harry B. His pics do not relate to the posts at all, and they are completely oversized slowing everything down. Also makes it very frustrating to try to visit the site from a phone. Harry's pics are funny...but perhaps he should consider partnering w/ admin if he wants his work seen so badly. Judgment for Plaintiff.
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
The site is also losing readers b/c of Harry B. His pics do not relate to the posts at all, and they are completely oversized slowing everything down. Also makes it very frustrating to try to visit the site from a phone. Harry's pics are funny...but perhaps he should consider partnering w/ admin if he wants his work seen so badly. Judgment for Plaintiff.
HarryBalsagna wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Not sure how sexy and hilarious photos cause people to leave the site simply because they dont always relate to the thread. Note that approximately 70% of the pics I post do relate, i.e. the infamous underwater tit.
The Judge wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Let the voting begin!
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
missing text from Harry's argument?
"Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but I for one am not going to stand here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!" - R. Retardo
admintdt wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Harry the rules are no nudity. Maybe you should stick to Euro newspapers and their love of the body in the natural state.
HarryBalsagna wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Judge, please restrain the plaintiff from speaking out of turn and disrupting the deliberations
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Vote for Harry
This is a tough case for me - the private property rights of admin regarding his website versus boobies. Oh hell, who am I kidding: Show me the boobies! Sorry admin. JS
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Nipples...
I have Nipples Focker, can you milk me?
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
What about asses?
Come on, AdMIN, what about asses? Thonged-butts aren't nudity? Elaine
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Tough call here... everything gets blocked here at work but not TDT (and Instant Jury so far) so if that gets stripped bc of Harry's actions... also, being a huge fan of Tit Dirt, underwater erases any Dirt on the Tit so... BUT water also turns Dirt into MUD so I like the idea of TIT MUD. Still I see in favor of ADMIN. -F SALT!!
admintdt wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Harry, "disrupting the deliberations"? Sad to see that TheDanzaTap isn't the only website you visit where you make up your own set of rules. Must be a pattern with you. Thank you all for bearing witness to my Mike-Brady-throws-th­e-briefcase moment.
HarryBalsagna wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Do you see what we are dealing with here folks? Pol Pot, the re-incarnation of Pol Pot.
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
Post A Link
Harry, if you want to share your delightful and deliciously deviant finds, post a link instead of the pic. Anybody interested can wander over there. What does it take - 5 seconds?
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
I think she's legal, I'd throw her one
Jimmy Wang wrote:[Jul 1, 2009]
who doesn't like underwater porn?
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 2, 2009]
Case Dismissed - Covered
The evidence is bogus; the girl in the picture is clearly not nude as she is covered entirely by water.
HarryBalsagna wrote:[Jul 2, 2009]
Puritans!
Anonymous wrote:[Jul 24, 2009]
I can not understand
My God!
lilmizzhannah wrote:[Aug 15, 2009]
omfg
i know that girl in the picture. ewhh.
lilmizzhannah wrote:[Aug 15, 2009]
omfg
i know that girl in the picture. ewhh.
Kitt wrote:[Sep 27, 2009]
I thought Balsagna was coming back for an appeal?

You can leave your message:
Message Title:
*Message:
*Verification Code:
Summary: she lied about her family members, she said her...
Stakes: my time and my nerves=)
 VS. 
aida22 tamara22
Age:  30 31
City:  ZAGREB ZAGREB
Sex:  female female
Defendant is Now Entering Arguments
Time Remaining:
22:18:16
Summary: Heiny is that guy at the movies who comments at will...
Stakes: Zip it and a Triple Treat Combo...
 VS. 
Hooks HeinY
Age:  25 32
City:  Portland Portland
Sex:  male male
Defendant is Now Entering Arguments
Time Remaining:
05:34:26
Summary: My brother likes Asian women but my mother will only...
Stakes: Do what YOU want to do and I...
 VS. 
Might... Prince
Age:  24 29
City:  New York New York
Sex:  male male
The Jury is Deliberating
Time Remaining:
22:31:56
Summary: My friend bought tickets to an event in anticipation...
Stakes: Responsibility for the Tickets
 VS. 
Jenkins BigBlue
Age:  27 29
City:  Philade... new york
Sex:  male male
The Jury is Deliberating
Time Remaining:
02:59:23